Better With an iPod Than a Knife & Fork

Originally posted October 11, 2011

Another holiday feast has come and gone. It was lovely to spend it with friends - good friends who don't mind that my children behave like savages at the table. Okay, maybe savages is an overstatement but nonetheless I was weary from all the; “Sit up straight.”, “Don’t hold your fork like a Neanderthal.”, “Use a napkin.”, “Stop dragging your sleeves thorough the cranberry sauce.” admonishments. It’s not fun for their dad and me and I know it’s no fun for them.

I had table manners pretty early in life but it’s likely because I had more experience at the table by the age of six than my daughter does at the age of eight. I came home for lunch and I used cutlery and a napkin and I honed my skills. For over two years now my daughter as eaten on the gym floor and had to wolf down her meals in 20 minutes (more like 12 by the time they find their pals, get seated and have a supervisor help open their tupperware) during which time they do more squirming and yakking than they do eating. I don’t blame them. If I sat on the floor for lunch  I’d be more prone to spinning on my butt and giggling than making sure I finished Mom's painstakingly selected items from all the major food groups.

So it’s no wonder that when they are at home they behave the same way they do in the gym; squirming in their chairs and snarfing down their food like they are going to the electric chair. Most days they come home with half their lunch left - “No time to finish Mom.” Most mothers here the same story. The kids who do finish their lunch in the short time allotted eat TUMS for dessert to put out the fire in their tiny guts.

The kids are taught nutrition and healthy eating habits in school and yet they are not given time to chew - let alone a table to eat at - and they come home famished after school.

And yes of course we go over it every night at dinner but they get deprogrammed the very next day at lunchtime. The notion of a nice family dinner and  sharing our news of the day is swallowed whole by the etiquette lessons...no time to chew the fat.