The Algorithm of a Legacy

Originally Posted October 31, 2011

I was sitting with the kids while they were doing their Bright Minds math homework and commented that I was happy to be learning math, that the methods they were being taught made sense to me. My daughter asked why I had always had trouble with math since I “seemed so much smarter in other stuff.” (at least I've got that going for me)

I told her my mathphobia was a product of a high school teacher who made me feel very embarrassed whenever I asked if he could explain something once more. He sighed and rolled his eyes and spoke veeeeery sloooowly, as though I were daft, which invariably made the other kids laugh so eventually I stopped asking.

My mom told me not to worry about the math teacher because language was going to be my thing. Then she told me about her having quit school at 16 (a fact I don’t think I knew before) and we looked at education on her side of the family.

Her parents, Will and Dora were born in the late 1800’s.  My grandfather was 14 when, one night after dinner, his father said: “Will, that’s the last meal I am paying for. You had better get out and get a job.” So he quit school, got a job and contributed to the household coffers. An experience he shared with the majority of children in Victorian England.

By the time my mother got into her mid-teens my grandfather simply couldn’t help her with her homework. His shame resulted in angry outbursts  often enough that my mom no longer went to him for help, struggled on her own until she realized that she was not going to graduate, the maths and sciences would sink her. She went into the principal's office to quit and he didn’t so much as ask why, let alone try to help her stay. Off to work she went.

And what of her daughter, moi? Despite the fact my father was an accountant I did not go to him for help with homework. He didn’t have the patience and got frustrated with me when I didn’t understand. In the end I swapped out calculus for an algebra course, had a good teacher, did well, graduated and got a job to hold me over until I could figure what I would do in university that didn't require math. The legacy took hold of another generation - but it would be the last.

I explained my family's math history to the kids explaining to them that they were smart to begin with, doing well in Bright Minds and had a dad who could always help them so they would be just fine. As for how I could help - I vowed to personally deal with any eye-rolling teacher who thought humiliation was an acceptable teaching tactic.

To which Jack responded: “ I love you a googol Mom.” And that is a lot by the way, just google  a googol.