February 11, 2013
I received a comment mail on a recent blog. I appreciate and welcome all comments. It’s how the conversation starts and more information becomes available. head here for the post and comments
When it comes to our kids and their experiences in school every situation is different. Different schools, different kids, different teachers, different issues. No two will be exactly alike. And, in many cases, what one parent was told will sound incorrect to another based on what they were told.
I don’t claim to be an expert on any of the issues posted here. I relay the information and it is up to readers to do with it what they want.
The topic of Codes and Consequences is a big one. I know a few moms who had wonderful experiences with having their child assessed, coded and helped. I also know some who have had unsatisfactory results with the coding process and were left to manage their irreversible decisions.
I know a teacher who taught for 20 years without ever having a coded student in her class, she changed schools and now has six. She is trying to figure out what that means and how to make it work for the kids all 28 of them in her class.
IPP’s are a good thing when they work. They are disappointing when they don’t. One thing is for sure; parents need to know as much as they can about the benefits, disadvantages and consequences of the program. The only way to do is to speak to people about it; teachers, administrators, doctors and other parents.
Here is another mom's story and it is downright ridiculous. She will likely comment here in the next day or two. Sit down for this one:
The doctor assesses the child and over several appointments and confusing conversations the diagnosis switches back and forth a few times between PDD-NOS , Asperger’s and Gifted.
He explained he could write a report in which the child has Asperger’s meaning she would be coded with sever disabilities and receive a lot of funds for resources and extra help in school A.
Or
He could give the mom a report of “gifted” which meant the child would have an easier time of it getting into school B.
Or
She could use the "gifted" diagnosis in the public schools to get her child into the GATE program.
Also of note, during these conversations he mentioned he worked closely with one of the schools.
Also of note, during these conversations he mentioned he worked closely with one of the schools.
I don't even know what to say about this one and I can be objective. How does a parents make the best decision for their child in this case?
I believe I am the parent you mention. Your outline of the situation is pretty close to factual. I’ll give a few more details…
ReplyDeleteSeveral years ago I decided to send my child, who had been experiencing social issues and anxiety, to a private school which we thought would be a better fit. Before paying the full tuition, however, I wanted another opinion on the school so took my child to a well-regarded child psychologist who had previously been ‘unofficially’ recommended by my child’s public school. A lengthy and costly psycho-educational assessment was recommended and performed. The verdict? Aspergers. I was advised to get a code of ‘severe disability’ for my child in order to get the resources needed. It was explained that this code gave schools several tens of thousands of dollars to get my child the support needed. It was recommended I seek social skill training through that office. A specific charter school – not the school we had chosen – was recommended. Although I am not sure (no, the psychologist did not tell me this and it may not be true), I believe that the recommended charter school may offer social skill training through the psychologist who gave the diagnosis.
After a few days of reading and researching Aspergers, I met with the psychologist again and outlined my belief that the diagnosis was wrong. To my shock, he agreed with me almost immediately. He said he NEVER believed it was Aspergers, but provided the diagnosis of the junior psychologist who’d performed the assessment. That's right - he’d given us a diagnosis he did not believe. Why? He believed that Aspergers was under-diagnosed, and that undiagnosed Aspergers was ‘tragic’. He’d rather give a wrong diagnosis that ‘gave us resources’ than fail to diagnose true Aspergers. He also said that the assessment report could be written pretty much any way we’d like, including the ways you outlined. Seriously.
I did not pursue a code or a report at all. We did place my child in the private school originally chosen. It has worked out better than I could have dreamed. My child is now confident and has blossomed socially, with a circle of supportive friends.
I do often think … what if I had listened to the experts and followed their advice? What if I had not pushed back?
A diagnosis of Aspergers (and from what I understand, many codes) does indeed exclude a child from many charter and private schools, including the one my child now attends. I do not know if such a report, or code, can be reversed based on changed or second opinions. My suspicion is that this would be problematic.
I am not saying that a code is, in itself, bad for a child. I believe that codes, and those who create and administer them, are very well intentioned. Codes are probably a god-send for many parents of children with special needs. My advice however, based on my experience, is to question the experts. Learn as much as you can about the advice, and the ‘code system’, before following it. Think it through with the awareness that it is, at the least, likely very difficult to erase this kind of label. And trust your gut. You are the expert on your child.
I also choose to post anonymously to protect my child. However I suspect that the need for anonymity creates a bit of a veil around ‘the system’ (which includes psychologists, educators and administrators) and likely leads to it being misunderstood, or not understood at all. For that reason I strongly support parents talking to one another about this issue, even anonymously and even without perfectly complete information. We cannot blindly trust a system we do not understand, and how else are we going to understand it? Parents need a voice too. And if there are educators or psychologist who can shed some more light or provide their perspectives, that would be helpful too. So thank you for opening up the discussion. Let’s keep talking.
Thanks for the details.
ReplyDeleteNo, we cannot blindly trust a system that is too big to work for every child. No one cares for them as much as we do our own kids and in the end these are our decisions to make. The only way to make them without regret is information. When it comes to our kids', none of us want to say: IF only I had known...
And, as for anonymous posts, if that's what works then OK. But it's a shame because frankly I would like to know the name of your doctor so that I don't end up putting my child's care in his hands.
Why do we feel comfortable recommending our friends don't go to a particular mechanic but feel we cannot do that for something so much more important? We don't mention the teachers or the school or the doctors for fear our kids will take the heat, that's why.