My first reaction when I heard about the mechanics of sex was; “That fits in there??” Then I immediately put it out my mind.
As I got older I got curious and found my dad’s Playboys. I wondered how comfortable it would be to wait for things to happen while stretched out naked on a bale of hay or bearskin rug and, could I even have sex without these props?
One of the families I babysat for had a copy of The Joy of Sex and I remember wondering why the drawings of the naked girls in the book were hairier than the girls in the magazines and, did I have to memorize all those positions or could I refer to notes?
But I never saw the act of sex before engaging in it myself for the first time.
Once I was ready to listen I had frank talks with my mother about the mechanics of it, the emotional elements involved and the risk of pregnancy.
All in all in was a fairly benign set of clues that led up to The Event (cue the harps and fireworks) and there were no real surprises - other than wondering what all the fuss was about. (Sorry Ron)
Today it’s a different story.
According to this article most kids will see their first porn movie clip by the time they are 14.
How can a kid of 14 put what they see there into context? A pizza delivery guy that gets naked before he closes the door. Massive boobs that don’t move, hairless bodies, swinging members that hang to the knee and women seemingly thrilled to have one stuffed in every orifice. Ropes, cuffs, spankings, animals, leather hoods...Holy Protracted Penises Batman!
What kid would come home and feel comfortable enough to ask for clarification on what they have seen? Who do they turn to assuage what could only be fear and confusion for all who watched the clip? Teen girls are shaving newly arrived pubic hair and saving for boob jobs. I can only imagine what the poor teen boys are thinking when they go home and take out the tape measure.
Porn Literacy. Add that to the growing list of things we have to teach our kids along with Cyber Civility, Responsible Recycling and Planned Parenthood.
Here's a link to great discussion about Porn Literacy that aired on CBC's Q last week.
It's frightening. Just last week I was saying how shocking it was to me to find that my 12 yold daughter had never heard of the Vietnam war but knows what 'friends with benefits' means, explicitly.
ReplyDeleteMuriel, that gives gives it interesting perspective.
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine's 14 year old daughter was at school when two 14 year boys told her "Blow us now in the stairwell or else." She said no and took off. Mother reports it to admin, they have a "talk" with the boys. A talk? If the principal had said the same thing to his secretary she'd have him up on sexual harassment charges.
The boys have no concept, no context and I bet the parents don't think their kids even know what a blowjob is.
P
There is a very flippant attitude toward all interactive relationships these day, imo. Our youth seem to exist in a state of transience.
DeleteIt's all immediate gratification. I was recently told "Jeez Mom, NOBODY dates anymore. You just hook up".