Missing Video from last blog post

For some reason the video posted with the last blog entry did not show up in the subscriber's version, to watch it and hear Lani Donaldson talk about her school, head here

What If Great Teachers Could Homeschool Your Kids For You?

As anyone with kids in school knows, the current school system is lagging and lacking. Don't fault the teachers. Most teachers are terrific but they all have more work then ever, fewer resources, less support, bigger classes, more challenging students and a league of hovering, annoying parents with whom to contend.

The system needs an overhaul from the top down so that we can put the students first. It's not going to happen any time soon so parents look for alternatives.

One of those alternatives is homeschooling. For a longtime the idea of teaching kids at home was associated with crop-planters, tree-huggers and church-goers but homeschooling is shedding its long skirts, as it were.

The number of kids homeschooled in Canada has doubled in the last decade and is growing every year. Universities actively seek homeschooled kids these days because they out perform their peers in public  and private school. 

Lots of parents are scared to admit they homeschool even though they made the choice for very practical reasons that had nothing to do with religion or wheatgerm and everything to do with making sure their kids got the best education they could, address a particular learning style, be more challenged, get away from bullies, to name just a few of a long list of reasons.

(I toyed with idea a few times when my kids were small but to be honest I don't think I could teach drunk and that would be the only way I could pull it off.)

There's one misconception that keeps cropping up - some folks think kids that are homeschooled are weird and socially goofy, and some are ... but there are just as many kids who socialize all day in public school who are weird too. It’s incumbent upon the parents and teachers to help kids learn to socialize, doing it well is not a product of a big school and nor is doing it poorly a result of a kitchen classroom.

Nope, the socialization thing didn’t worry me. All joking aside, I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to teach the hard stuff, like math. And, I was pretty certain I didn't have the patience it would take. I am also a practiced procrastinator so blowing of the school year and cramming it all into June was a likely scenario. 

I would like to have been able to out-source their homeschooling. The same way I did their swimming lessons and will do with their driving lessons. Turn it over to the pros.

It would have been great to have them disappear for the morning to be taught in small groups by great teachers and then I - Fun Mom - would sail in on a nap and a shower at noon to take them to the zoo, the museum, the science centre, the park, the gym, art class or out to hang out with other kids who are done for the day at noon. 

That’s the kind of education model I wish I could have found when my kids were little and heading into the system ... and now it has arrived. 

There is a new school opening this fall in Calgary. 
Only 15 spots will be open this year with more added each school after this. 
It's called the N.A.S. Project. NAS stands for Not A School, love it. 
At the helm is my friend and engaged educator Lani Donaldson. 

Watch this video

And head here for more details and to register. www.nasproject.org

Friendship

My daughter Clancy is ten, gets along with pretty much anyone but rarely wants to be with someone else more than she wants to be by herself. Until about 6 months ago when she found a girl she really likes.

The object of her affection makes Clancy laugh and feel happy. They are in the same class, live close to one another and recently they spent 48 hours together without incident. This girl's world does not revolve around Clancy, but Clancy’s world does - did - revolve around her pal until last week when she realized that love is never a perfect balance. A necessary lesson.

Clancy’s pal spends summers away and has a whole other life during July and August with kids she has known since she was in diapers, kids she only sees in the summers, kids who know the lay of the land, the rules of the games, the hiding spots, the secret handshakes and all the other cool things that going with living on another planet every summer.

Our travels brought us near this place last week and Clancy popped in on her friend. It didn’t go quite as she had envisioned. Rather than surprise and glee at seeing Clancy, her buddy gave her a smile and a “hey” but didn't stop to chat, told her she was busy and kept walking. We have all been there. It’s what happens when your expectations high and we expect others to behave as we think we would if the tables were turned. 

She came back stunned and stung. There was nothing I could do to “fix” it that would not have made things worse. She had to feel it all and get over it in her own time, file it where she needed to.

She was fine in no time so when her pal texted her a few days later to get together she was happy to go. I asked her if she was going to tell her friend how things the other day had made her feel.

“Yes, if the right moment comes up.” she said

I said: “I think you should be sure to tell her Clancy, it’s important to tell friends what hurts us, what makes us happy. It helps them too. Everybody learns.”

She was quiet. It was the silence that comes while she decides if she can say what’s on her mind with impunity. I gave her the green light; “Say what you want kid, no hard feelings.”

“Mom, it feels like you want me to fix something that happened to you.”

God love her, rarely I am I the smarter the two of us in conversation.

“I don’t want you to fix my childhood, live out my dreams or be some version of me I wish I had become. But I didn’t make a ton of mistakes so that you wouldn’t at least try to learn from them. All I am saying is this - if you get used to telling people how you feel it will serve you well. There are ways to do it that are polite, not whiny and if you practice you'll get good at it. It will strengthen good relationships and weed out the crappy ones. In no time you will have mastered what I it took me nearly a half a century to learn I was allowed to do and am still trying to get good at.”

“Okay mom.”

So off she went. I picked her up hours later after what she described as being the “best night of her life”. She had talked with her pal, all was good. Ta da.

As their relationships become more complicated I have to remember to react to their problems the same way I did when they were little and fell down; the less drama in my reaction, the less drama they create. My credo then was: "No broken bones or blood? Carry on." and I need to behave the same way for what lies ahead.

Of course there will times to listen and give them a shoulder to cry on but for the most part: An "Oh were your pals busy with other things? We'll call next time before dropping by." will be the best reaction. 

As my friend Annie the Nanny says: Jesus is coming, look busy. (It refers to a t-shirt worn by Johnny English) By that she means this - when parents are busy being grown ups and kids are left to be kids we have little time for more than a perfunctory "It'll be okay kid." And that attitude helps children understand what it is to be resilient. The sooner we teach them that the better they will be at it later in life. 

They need to ....














For a great read, check out Annie's post about resiliency here