When our kids do something nice, clever, funny ... "good" we can't help but feel proud and sometimes even a bit responsible “Oh that voice of hers? Yes, she gets that from me. I like to sing too...been told I have a pretty good voice actually.”
But when the do something less impressive - like fart in public and fall down in hysterics - that behaviour does not come from us. That sort of thing does grow on our family tree ... well, maybe on their father’s side.
And the less repulsive but no less embarrassing stuff? Like the lack of some basic skills ... shoe-tying, food-cutting and jacket- zipping? Where does that come from? What happened there?
Mea culpa.
Originally Posted August 28,2012
As much as it pains me, I am stepping up to take the blame. When I watch my kids handle cutlery I cringe - a chimp can do better holding a fork in his foot. That’s my fault. In the name of all things fast-and-let’s-get-out-the-door I cut up their food too long. In hopes that they would eat something I fed them too many brown, crispy Happy Hour finger foods. As a result I have a 7 and a 9 year old who actually complain that it hurts to hold their knife and fork properly. I can believe it. Those muscles have never been developed.
One day when my son was six said to me: “Look Mom, I built a prototype for a space rocket.” I was both impressed with the popsicle stick creation and his vocabulary. (No doubt I called someone to tell them how articulate my son was.) An hour later he sat on the stair, shoulders slumped, lip out, big sigh: “I just cannot tie my shoes Mom.”
As I knelt down to show him, again, it dawned on me: “Wait a minute mister man. Any guy who can build a prototype can tie his own shoes. Get on it Rocket Man.”
Why is it I have to to zip up their coats but they can conquer a Wii game before the ink is dry on the visa slip?
What? They can't reach over six inches to grab the remote but they will walk a mile to pick up WiFi on their devices.
“But Mooom, I don’t know how to turn on the vacuum!” Whines the kid who can download a texture pak to Minecraft without my help. (And no, I don’t know what that means.)
I stunted their growth and now it's time for change, for evolution. They are floppy, boneless, creatures that just lie there, helpless and hopeless waiting for me to wipe, zip, tie or carry for them and it's time for them to rise up out of the muck, grow a spine and take care of themselves. I will stand back on the shore and persuade them with gummies and iTunes gift cards.
I can do it. I have been through this before. I did everything for my husband when we first met and I filleted him too, leaving him supine on the sofa watching golf. But I got him up and before he realized what was going on he was holding a sponge instead of the remote. I didn’t have to spend a cent on candy or gift cards. The promises I made him just require my staying awake for a few minutes ;-)
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