The Ship Goes Down in the Ocean, the Captain in Infamy

Originally posted January 12, 2012 

I met my husband in 1995. I did not know until this morning that he had once run INTO a burning building to save an old man. Seriously? I dated guys who made up stories like that and pulled them out on the first date!

Donny and I had been talking about the cruise ship that sunk last week off the coast of Italy. By all reports the behaviour on the ship was nothing short of appalling. Men pushing women and children out of the way to get to safety. People trying to climb over the elderly to get into lifeboats first. It paints a terrifying picture and in the aftermath most of us have wondered how we would react. For some the answer is crystal clear. One male friend told me in no uncertain terms that he would do everything he could to help as many people as he could. And I believe him. Another friend said he would be the first out and God help anyone who tried to stop him. I believe him too.

There was an article in yesterday's Globe and Mail about heroic behaviour and the difference between people who run out of a burning building and those who run in. Not surprisingly those who run in are risk takers by nature, they are drawn to daring sports and various activities that put their lives in exhilarating danger. 

This is not Donny.

Then there are those who are driven by other factors; when terrorists attacked a hotel in Mumbai a few years ago many of the employees risked their lives attempting to save the guests, some died trying. When asked what motivated them to act so heroically they simple explained it was the right thing to do. 

Now that is my husband.

So when we talked about it this morning and I said: “I don’t know what I’d do. I know I would risk life and limb to save the kids, but a stranger ... I sure hope I would do the right thing.”

I know Donny would behave heroically on a sinking ship, for him it simply is the right thing to do and it would not occur to him to waste time thinking about it. What I did not know was that he could answer from experience. He told me he and another guy had broken down the door to a neighbour’s place while it was on fire. They went inside to find the kitchen in flames and the house filled with smoke. When they went upstairs they found the old guy at his closet trying to decide what clothes to take so Donny just grabbed all the hangers at once and they hustled the man out.

My hero.

Philip Zimbardo, a psychologist at Stanford University, has studied 4,000 people and discovered that about 20% of the population would do whatever it took and act heroically. He says it is a virtue that can be learned and our kids can be taught to do what’s right be it dealing with a bully or jumping in front of a train to save a stranger.

Now there’s a character building program that I like better than finding the message in an episode of Veggie Tales.

Find out more at the Heroic Imagination Project for Schools