Never say, "oops." Always say, "Ah, interesting." ~ Author Unknown
The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything. ~ Edward Phelps
Perfection has one grave defect: it is apt to be dull. - William Somerset Maugham
Once you accept the fact that you're not perfect, then you develop some confidence. - Rosalynn Carter
At Bright Minds the kids finish a book of math, submit it to the instructor and begin the next book. The instructor then goes through the finished work and notes any mistakes, it comes back to the students and they have to go back and correct their mistakes.
A couple of things happen here that I like;
One - the child gets a true understanding of the old adage “learn from your mistakes”.
Two - it shows them how far they have come.
Nothing instills confidence like going back over something you once thought hard and putting your mistakes in perspective. When my kids say "Oh Mom! How could I have thought this was ever hard?” it is music to my hears. I love to watch as they realize that they have improved and that things they once thought hard are no longer difficult. Just what Mom said would happen. Deliberate practice, correcting and learning from mistakes help master the subject.
A child who gets a passing C in any subject moves on to the next level with only a barely sufficient grasp of the material that is the very foundation for the next section. How is this allowed to happen?
It’s like, as the Renert brothers point out, giving someone a two wheeled bike and after an afternoon of falls and without mastering how to safely ride a bicycle they are told - yep, good enough, now here’s your unicycle.
A few months into the program my daughter hit a section of problems she found tough. They spent the class working on the methods used to solve the problems but it was going to take practice for her to fully understand it all. She fell apart.
We talked and what she admitted appalled me “Mom, I have never been given anything in school I couldn’t do. I feel dumb with this new stuff.”
She is in grade three, more than enough time to have developed a misplaced sense of infallibility. Had I not enrolled her in Bright Minds when would she have encountered a challenging concept? Junior high? High school? Would her self-image of academic brilliance been pulled out from under her just as the social pressures of teenhood had begun to make for slippery footing?
So we had a chat about the truth. About how very rarely in life do you try something that you are instantly good at - motherhood being no exception.
This need for perfection is fostered by the current education system which teaches to the middle of a classroom. Those kids in the middle of the pack get what they need; manageable content and room to improve. The kids at the bottom of the class are moved into the next grade and get left further and further behind while the kids for whom the work is easy are left unchallenged.
Grade three spelling tests are one example. Now while I understand that there are kids who are being the given appropriate words for their level, what happens to my kid when she gets three mistakes over 30 tests? She feels great and I feel awful. She is developing a pursuit for perfection.
I will not congratulate her for knowing how to spell "farm". Sorry. She reads big, hard books so she had better know how to spell it. I want to commend her efforts but how can I when she doesn’t have to muster any? (for more on the pitfalls of false praise watch the video above)
Though few of us enjoy going over and over things till we get them right there is no other way. I don’t want my surgeon to be anything but a master with his scalpel, my investment advisor having only a pretty good idea of risk management.
Until our children are challenged at school, daily, they will continue to fear making mistakes and that fear of failing will be the biggest barrier between them and a meaningful life, satisfying career and honest relationships.
Deliberate practice is what it takes. Making mistakes, being challenged, learning and relearning until concepts are mastered.
You cannot confidently proclaim “look ma! no hands” until you have fallen off your bike even when holding on ... with both.
A child who gets a passing C in any subject moves on to the next level with only a barely sufficient grasp of the material that is the very foundation for the next section. How is this allowed to happen?
It’s like, as the Renert brothers point out, giving someone a two wheeled bike and after an afternoon of falls and without mastering how to safely ride a bicycle they are told - yep, good enough, now here’s your unicycle.
A few months into the program my daughter hit a section of problems she found tough. They spent the class working on the methods used to solve the problems but it was going to take practice for her to fully understand it all. She fell apart.
We talked and what she admitted appalled me “Mom, I have never been given anything in school I couldn’t do. I feel dumb with this new stuff.”
She is in grade three, more than enough time to have developed a misplaced sense of infallibility. Had I not enrolled her in Bright Minds when would she have encountered a challenging concept? Junior high? High school? Would her self-image of academic brilliance been pulled out from under her just as the social pressures of teenhood had begun to make for slippery footing?
So we had a chat about the truth. About how very rarely in life do you try something that you are instantly good at - motherhood being no exception.
This need for perfection is fostered by the current education system which teaches to the middle of a classroom. Those kids in the middle of the pack get what they need; manageable content and room to improve. The kids at the bottom of the class are moved into the next grade and get left further and further behind while the kids for whom the work is easy are left unchallenged.
Grade three spelling tests are one example. Now while I understand that there are kids who are being the given appropriate words for their level, what happens to my kid when she gets three mistakes over 30 tests? She feels great and I feel awful. She is developing a pursuit for perfection.
I will not congratulate her for knowing how to spell "farm". Sorry. She reads big, hard books so she had better know how to spell it. I want to commend her efforts but how can I when she doesn’t have to muster any? (for more on the pitfalls of false praise watch the video above)
Though few of us enjoy going over and over things till we get them right there is no other way. I don’t want my surgeon to be anything but a master with his scalpel, my investment advisor having only a pretty good idea of risk management.
Until our children are challenged at school, daily, they will continue to fear making mistakes and that fear of failing will be the biggest barrier between them and a meaningful life, satisfying career and honest relationships.
Deliberate practice is what it takes. Making mistakes, being challenged, learning and relearning until concepts are mastered.
You cannot confidently proclaim “look ma! no hands” until you have fallen off your bike even when holding on ... with both.
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